Custody Evaluation Discussion

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Department of Children and Families

From: Ron Roark
Conditions of use: accepted & agree
Date: 05 Mar 2004
Time: 13:11:03
Remote Name: 170.163.132.150

Comments

I have been arrested seven times in 35 days. I had gained the legal advice of an attorney who was doing all she could to keep up with my court dates that are stemming 2 and sometimes 3 a day in 2 different districts depending on where I was arrested; home or work. My last arrest came from my wife filing a statement stating I had allegedly called her cell phone and blocked the #. Since then my attorney has withdrawn her appearances claiming this was too much for her to deal with. I am getting arrested at the rate of twice a week and am afraid to go home; and providing I hold my job, to go to work. The mailman came into our office this morning and I found myself having to excuse myself to the restroom to vomit because he was in uniform and thought him to be the police again. I am having trouble keeping my focus at work and lately more often then not find myself going to the bar instead of going home, as I have no where else safe I can go.(If you consider that safe).I am about to throw the towel in. The more I get arrested the further my goal of getting my son back becomes, and I have just about lost all hope. I have been advised to move 500 miles away and have entertained the idea, but I cannot let my employer down for one; and again would find myself in state every day to attend my court hearings. My wife and I met 6 years ago and have been on and off since. I never had a criminal record until I met her, not even a parking ticket. We were completely off and ended things when she learned of her pregnancy. We got back together and tried to work things out. Since then I have had numerous restraining orders founded by false allegations of threats made by myself to her and my son, numerous protective orders and been arrested several times. I continue to go back because we now have a son together and that seems to be the only time I get with him. She refuses to let the restraining orders and protective orders go, and only allow me contact under them. If ever I piss her off (I.e. don't give her money, don't agree with things concerning my son; etc) she has me arrested for violating the restraining order. My wife got pregnant again and I married her in August, again for the better of my children. I rented a house for us and moved her and my son into it. She started breaking things and became increasingly argumentative in front of my son who is now 2 years old and understanding more and more. I left the house hoping things would calm down. There was a new restraining order issued by more false allegations of threats of violence and involved DCF. I wasn't allowed back in my house or to visit my son. I started to get a little smarter about how I handled her this time. She called my mothers house (where I was staying) the day after She filed the new order and told me I could see my son. I wasn't going to let him down as my mother could here him screaming for me in the background. Under the restraining order my mother picked him up and dropped him off taping all conversation and all phone calls. She called the police on me for violating the restraining order again and this time I had it all on tape. They still arrested me because again I had violated the order. She then called my mother and told her she was completely out of the house and I could go back, again caught on tape. The restraining order specifically stated I was not allowed to be "wherever she may reside" So I went back to my house were the police were waiting for me. I let them in the house which had been stripped of all possessions and showed them that she did not reside there anymore. Because the box that said "do not enter the family dwelling" was checked off, and that technically was still the family dwelling, I was again arrested. I played the tape for the police officers that arrested me and DCF but the only headway that was made was in the police report they did put that she was doing this intentionally. I have no idea where she resides and where my son is at this time and have not seen him since Thanksgiving of last year. Now she has given birth to our daughter whom I have never seen. She continues to call the police at random and tells them I'm passing her on the street or driving by her house most of which I handled with the police by telling them where I was at those times. Her credibility is slowly dwindling with the police departments but they are now considering me a nuisance and would just assume put me in jail for good. I was again arrested on Monday at my place of employment for violating the protective order and tried again to tell the police that I didn't know where she was or even how to contact her. They still arrested me and couldn't find a copy of the police report to even tell me how I had violated the protective order. When I got a public defender he couldn't even tell me how I had violated it, but because I now have an extensive criminal history, the judge put a $25,000 bond on me. I, through the help of my very supportive family and god above, got out. I plan to go into hiding but still have to be at work. I'm scared of her. She knows how to use the system, and has already put me in jail for 3 months last summer for violating a protective order when I saw my son, and they tell me I'm going back for doing it again.I can't defend myself even with a tape recorder. In 5 years I haven't gotten a prosecutor, judge, or family services worker to listen to the taped conversations between my mother and her, or read the now 5 inch thick binder of my criminal/civil history concerning our cases; all of which has commentary and factual documentation of the true accounts of every case. I have had many lawyers and all are so mediocre that fighting the system has been a daunting uphill battle the nearly costs me my job every time, because of the amount of legwork I am having to perform to make my case. I'm not sure if any of this is going to help, but please I am afraid the next time I am arrested my bail will be too high to get me out, and that I will not have my job if I do. My employer has bent over backwards because I have been totally honest with him, but has told me he can't continue losing me, as I am a vital part of my company. Vital as I may be I can be replaced. I have always paid my child support even when incarcerated. I love my son and promised him would never stop trying to get him back, but several months to an adult is a lifetime to a child. I fear he will not understand, and can only imagine what his mother is telling him. Please help me I need my son. He is like the air I breath and without him I will surely suffocate. DCF seems to be my largest hurdle in the growing struggle to maintain some kind of contact with my son. I continue to jump through there hoops, now for 4 months, and still absolutely no visitation with my son or newborn daughter. I have heard through the grapevine that my wife is even telling them that they are making a mistake and this is having a lasting effect on my son. They have demanded she keep my son and newborn daughter away from me with the consequences being my children will be taken away from her too. I have paid my attorney a great deal of money and continue to pay bail bonds at rapidly increasing proportions. I pray to god for the strength, money and courage to continue my struggle for my son and to get out of jail one more time, but I don't think I can anymore. I am out of money, out of contacts, and my family as well. Although they remain supportive, they are as helpless as I am. A prayer may be all you can offer but at this point I will take it. Ronald Roark Designer/Project Coordinator P and J Sprinkler Company, Inc 67 Main Street Willimantic, CT 06226 WORK # 860-456-0515 HOME # 860-742-8199

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